How much control do you give up?

[denuseri]

Is there such a thing as giving up too much control?

Never surrender more control than what he can bring forth from you. Any brute can force a woman to submit in fear, it takes a very wise and cunning dominant to gain submission through love.

Should they have your email and website subscription passwords?

Is this hypothetical dominant only online, (if so, no , never) or someone I have been submitting too for many years now and trust with my very life?

Should safe words not be used eventually?

I believe the general consensus within SSC and or RACK is that one should have safe words to begin with. Outside of that consideration, safe words and ways of signalling a stop to the proceedings dont allways work and perhaps shouldnt be relied upon like a crutch eaither, many a dom has hurt many a sub thinking "but she never said the safe word". Additionally when one is bound and helpless it won't matter what the safe word is if the dominant in question doesnt respect your wish to have one. My Owner and I do not use safe words, but we have been in a long term well extablished R/L arrangment. But I am quite certian that since he does not wish to have his property damaged if I were to cry out he would stop things, but again Ive been with the same man for a many years now.


Should hard limits be pushed or ignored eventually?

The wise dominant never ignores the limitations of their most prized possession lest they wish to see said possession broken. The wise submissive does not seek the collar of those who are not also wise.

Should your Dom/me get to choose your sexual orientation?

One may lead the horse to the water, but unless the horse is thirsty, do not expect it to drink.

Once the collar is on do you give up everything or are there still things that should be left private to the slave?

Is the "collar" in question that of a submissive or that of a slave? The Slave's Collar for some is much bigger deal. But in essence, the answer to this question is the same as the answer to how much control should be surrendered. If a domianat was wishing to collar me, I would ceretianly let him know ahead of time that if his idea of a slave envolved me somehow being his doormat, or that he intended me to be in his collar by the end of the week etc then perhaps he had best look elsewhere for his slave becuase sugar I wasnt it. If however his idea of owning a slave involved holding well "deserved" dominion (I do mean "deserve" too, he will have to earn every inch of me) over one who submits willfully out of love and respect that was earned over time; well thats much more likely to recive a favorable responce.

Those are just some of the things I have thought about recently with me about to begin my training in real life. Please don't assume any of these questions are issues in my relationship with my Master. This thread is in no way a reflection of O/our relationship. I just thought it might be a good topic to discuss.

I wish you all the luck and best hopes for you on your journey of submission!