Everyone has given really good advice, in this thread. And I understand about not having a r/l BDSM community to go to, I used to live in a small community that was vanilla in the extreme. I did all my research online and discussed everything I found interesting with my Master, we had an online relationship for almost two years before we were able to meet in person, though both of us were very eager for the meeting. He trained me online before that and, I too was guilty of 'cheating' sometimes, if a task was incredibly hard or humiliating or if I wasn't able to complete a task because of my circumstances. But I would always eventually come clean and confess. If it was unreasonable for me to have not done the task then I would receive punishment, but if it was understandable then my Master and I talked long and hard about why I couldn't do it. He would ask hard questions and demand that I answer, it really helped me learn about myself and him as well.

My Master is, as another post mentioned, my best friend, my mentor, the shoulder I cry on, my lover, and my protector. What makes him, in my opinion a good master is the fact that he listens to me. I can talk to him about anything and he'll be interested in what I'm saying. But we don't just have sex all the time, we talk, he tells me how his day went, I tell him how much I hate my classes. And if you're honestly not ready to follow an order, just talk to your Master, if he's good then he'll understand and talk to you about it, maybe even help you talk your way through it. Some orders you have to grow into, and some orders are special. You can't do them unless he's there talking to you you, helping you, maybe even touching you if your in a r/l relationship.

My best advice for you is to talk to as many people as you can about everything. When I first discovered BDSM I had no friends who were involved with it or even knew what it was, I was skittish about joining forums unless I knew someone who had been in them already. As you might guess this made it awkward for my to get first hand accounts of things. But I googled everything and if I was curious about a particular something I asked my Master and we discussed if we would both be open to trying it (FYI: I was his first slave so we were learning together which is, in my opinion the best way to go about it).

All in all, jut have fun and trust your instinct. Don't settle with the first Master that approaches you unless you feel comfortable with him. I was talking to my Master for a few weeks before we became Master and slave and during that time I learned a lot about trusting myself. If it didn't feel right it usually wasn't.

I hope this helps and if you need you can always PM me.

Sana