Arina -- glad to read your post, and the recommendations, as I, too, am looking to bring bdsm to the marriage.

I'd like to hear more about how you're "bringing it to the marriage" and your partner's responses. I suspect your partner is up to play; any thoughts on what to do when it just doesn't float your partner's boat? My fella is the sweetest -- he'd try if I ask -- but it just doesn't turn him on, and he says he feels "silly" and "false" -- and I'm hoping he'll try on the dom shoes . . .