Quote Originally Posted by Lisais mine View Post
is "punishment" the right course of action? are you sure that she is still interested in you? it sounds like to me you should get communication open with her again before you worry about such things. If she isn't sure she wants to persue a relationship with you, spouting all the "you are a bad girl" stuff is just going to exacerbate matters. especially since you have thrown your ex into the equation- she might not be as comfortable with that as you think.

I mean, you know her better than I could- but it sounds to me like there is more to the situation.
I couldn't agree more. If she won't obey you about fetching something, or responding to a text message, I can't imagine that she's going to sit in the corner for hours. She's trying to tell you something, and only she, and possibly you, can say what it is. My guess, from what you've said, is, either she's hurt or angry over something, or she's getting ready to be done with you. But you need to figure out what's up with her before you can address this behavior.

My instinct is a little different from some of the other advice you've gotten. I think you should move this OUT of the realm of bdsm. This is about your relationship and communication styles, not about her being naughty. I think you should put aside the Dom-speak and tell her that the relationship is at risk and you two need to talk like adults. If there's something wrong you'll work with her to address it, but you need to know what it is and she needs to tell you, not make you guess. Then I think you should back off the communication for a while and let her come to you with it when she's ready.