is "punishment" the right course of action? are you sure that she is still interested in you? it sounds like to me you should get communication open with her again before you worry about such things. If she isn't sure she wants to persue a relationship with you, spouting all the "you are a bad girl" stuff is just going to exacerbate matters. especially since you have thrown your ex into the equation- she might not be as comfortable with that as you think.

I mean, you know her better than I could- but it sounds to me like there is more to the situation.