Confused..

[denuseri]

Dear Ladymad:

I address this reponse to you personally due to the nature of your inquiry.

In my humble opinion:

It could be a maturnal instinct surfacing.

Lord knows my own has kicked in a lot recently, alltough I must confess I have no actual desire to dominate another outside of the occasional instructional object lesson.

Despite what a couple of individual detractors who identify themselves as "switches" on this site may think or say both publically and privately of me...

...It is my personal opinion that it is, purely natural to have such feeling and also in no way makes you any "less" of a submissive if that is your primary inclination in a bdsm capacity or otherwise.

In fact I believe the terminology revolving around the self identification of the word "Switch" is a wholey unnessesary practice in bdsm other than to identify one as having a preference to be capable of changing roles, or to identify the behavior of any dom or sub to switch roles even if temporarally; which we all do anyway as the situation merits to one extent or another.

In real life (even outside confines of bdsm and the bedroom) we all submit in one fashion or another to a higher authority and or (sometimes simultaneously) dominant to some degree that which is precieved by us to require our guildence etc.

Thus in effectual thoery by some peoples standards we are all "Switchs" by defualt.

This does not mean that I am sugesting we should abandon our respective terms of "identity" when it comes to bdsm, after all at least one of us must submit to the other for it to be called a dom/sub relationship even if its a fleeting one etc.

Such terms are condusive to maintaining a dom/sub houeshold at the very least, especially in a 24/7 and or TPE relationship.

My husband and Owner calls this fluid relationship between all individuals bdsm or vanillia or otherwise a "Hierachy of Dominion".

We all conform to it in one way or another even if we are not consciously aware of it or deny it's very existance.

Though I will admit that certian acts if preformed by one that has held a dominant position over me are preformed while they are submitting to another (If I have knowledge of it that is) or for some unknown reason they decide to submit to me personally, it does ireversably alter my preception of any dominion they may have once held over me.

This doesnt mean I think less of them as a person, but it does change my relationship with them as it alters my view of thier position in the forementioned hierachy were as I am personally conserned.

Some of us lean more twords the dominant aspect and some lean more to the submissive side in varying levels when it comes to our behaviors.

Ones place within this fore mentioned hierarchy is defined by one's own preceptions in relationship to the other individual one is dealing with at the time.

It is not allways a static constant, but a more fluid dynamic of interpersoanl exchange dependent on individual perspectives.

I also draw a distinction between "playing a role" and my identity of "self" where as being attuned to my natural, (IE: what is natural for me personally) place so to speak, especially for the purposes of bdsm activities.

I am capable of playing the part of a dominant, some have told me I do it quite well, but when it comes to my personal preferences I am much more attuned to the identity of a kajira.

In any event there is no real need to be confussed even if you are feeling uncertianty.

Perhaps your dominant, if you currently have one at this time etc, will permit you to experiement in such an edeavor and give you your own "pet".

My very first relationship in bdsm was in fact such an arrangment as I was placed in a subordinate position to the "First girl" of my Owner many years ago.

I in effect was ultimately his, alltough I was also required to submit to her, even to the point of addressing her as Mistress etc. It did not make her any less of a kajira.

Who knows you may actually be more suited to dominance than you might think and decide to actually switch your declaration of role identity permanetly.

In any event I hope that this helps you come to the wisdom and understanding that despite what you or others choose to call yourself, you are still a bueatiful and unique person capable of submission or dominance as the case may be.

The limits of which only revolve around your own personal consensus of preception.

Respectfully

denuseri