i don't think you can lock away your submission love2serve. Temporarily maybe, but if it is truly part of who you are, as it seems to be from your posts, it will keep popping back out of that box. In my opinion it's a matter of if you can channel it in ways that are acceptable to both you and your family.

i tried so so hard to supress my submissive nature for years. i was married to a man who was not only not open to me being a sub, but openly hostile and disgusted by it.

We seperated at the beginning of the year for unrelated reasons - but even while devestated and mourning my marraige, there was a tiny voice in the back of my head saying "you're free, you can be you without shame now".

i guess the advice i am trying to give is that you can and will mourn the loss of your Master, that you can devote yourself to your marraige without being able to directly act on your need for submission, but that you should never try to deny to yourself who and what you are. In my experience it doesn't work and only leads to shame and pain.

Good luck. i really hope things work out for you and the pain starts to fade soon.