i have gone back and read our numerous emails, which were all exquisite...reflected on our last phone call and remembered how happy He sounded to connect...and we are not together physically, i am not collared, and have not known Him long. i can usually spot a player and He definitely does NOT come across as that at all, not one tiny bit. i won't try to rationalize the details in my mind anymore because it does no good wrestling with unknowns. and i must just accept whatever comes my way until i see Him again, at which time i will engage Him in dialog and come to a resolution for both of us, even if it means i leave Him. i am glad i posted this though, because every comment echoes feelings, good or bad, that have been moving through me, and i feel better reading others' thoughts. until then i will keep my vigil counting hours until i can see Him face-to-face and see the truth lying there. thank yoOo