Are switches confused or is everybody else?

[thir]

Maybe my problem with one-siders is that in the bdsm culture I come from switching or being binary is - conservative judgement - at least about 50% of the bdsm population and no one is confused about it or think much of it. It was weird and unpleasant to meet the measure of negative reactions to switches or binaries which - aacording to my personal experiences - is apparently normal on a great many BDSM lists.

Furthermore due to a chronic disease which kind of changes everything I need to find myself as a binary bdsm person sort of from scratch, which is why I started talking about things.

Now, there are sooo many lists for subs and doms, but this is about the only list for switches or binarys I have been able to dig up though I have searched extensively, and I thought it would be possible to discuss switch questions here without running into the usual comments about switches which you meet ad nauseum on all the other lists. In the first case you usually end up trying to explain yourself to rather close minded people
which is a waste of time and which I therefore will not do here. In the second case, the reason for writing to a switch list is to talk to your own kind of people who understand what you are talking about rather more easily.

Seeing how you put so much distance between one-siders and powershifters, I am sure you can understand the this need.

So, I would like to ask why it is that there are people here who are neither switches, nor non-switches people who are here to learn and listen?
I would especially like to ask you, denuseri, whether you really think that your wide-eyed view of these funny animals and your derogatory views from old guard people are really helpful comments?

Would you for instance feel that if a person on a sub list - who was not a sub - wrote about 'not my view but many people consider subs to be doormats - just something to think about' was trying to be helpful? In a talk about why people 'look down on subs'?

thir

Peeks in to look at all the switches , all wide eyed, which switch should i flick first?

seriously i understand where you are coming from, but i would like to point out a few things to munch on

1) in a way even amongst submissives thier exists a hierachy, some girls domming others etc, even though they are all submissives, (notice i dont mention the boys) thats because they ussually (as i have seen on the internet and in real life) fall bellow the girsl for some reson, I dont know why, but one dom once told me its becuase of the hierarchy between dominants (yes some doms dom other doms -and or dommes etc lol) this is why my owner tells me we are all in a way switches

2) on subs being dominants, ive heard that one all the time, i know it seems like a dom that used to be a sub etc is skilled and they may be, (i also know its the "switch battle cry" lol no really i have never actually met a switch that dominated me well if at all>> dominance actually varies from individual to individual, i may be more dominant than another individual, i may know what they feel when certian things are done to them by me becuase ive had them done to me by another etc (oh wait thats right i probably learned the thing i am now doing to another from a dominant in the first place) but it is a completely spurious coroletion to think it makes me a better domme than a domme thats got dominant blood litterally flowing through her viens etc nessesarally, if that was the case i would make a better dom than my owner, which isnt just preposterious its downright silly

3)however this does not mean that the majority of us do not identify with one end of the spectrum more or less, of course it depends on the individual, my guess is switches just sit in the middle of the equation, sometimes dom sometimes sub, which is why those of us that have "commited" to a path feel like your confussed or cant decide or are affraid

4)alltough i must say and please dont take this the wrong way (this was explainned to me a long time ago by an old dominant and so far as ive seen it it pretty much rings true) He said:"allmost all of these ones that call them selfs "switches" are in fact actually just another type of submissive that also enjoys dominating those who will submit to them."
just some food for thought

i hope no one gets offended, it certiantly isnt my intention, i just wondered what the "switches thought" about this idea that i was actually taught and then later over time observed directly, especially once i came to this site and could observe so many switches first hand?

I certianly expect most if not all of you that identify yourselves as switches will disagree with me, i just want to mabey know why you do

hugs and kissess
denuseri