Quote Originally Posted by bambina View Post
Sure there is Ozm52 but that's okay. I don't think you and I will reach a common ground.

Basically, Ozme52 is a prime example of the kind of men I dislike on this site. They feel justified in approaching others in ways I detest just because of the context of this website. Sure it has strong sexual overtones but that doesn't mean you shouldn't approach someone with caution and care here because you have no idea whether or not they are comfortable discussing such things in detail. In real life, the reason men watch what they say and are careful with what they say is because of respect. Men in real life carry a certain level of respect (or at least fake it) for women and, even if they do want sex, they STILL are careful about what they say. So...news flash gentlemen. We are women, too. Just because we seek a certain taboo lifestyle doesn't mean we don't want to be treated as if we were approached in real life. It doesn't mean respect goes out the window just because of the lifestyle we've chosen.

EVERYONE in real life wants to find a life partner and mate but that doesn't mean it's okay to talk about sex in the first 5 minutes. People may be sexual beings but that doesn't mean that it's okay to shoot straight for sex in a conversation. You work up to it over time when you are comfortable with the person you are around and vice versa. So why abandon that principle here?

Guys, you respect a women enough to at least introduce yourself and ask the girl about her interests in real life. You should hold the same level of respect here.

At first I was seeking an explanation to why men act a certain way and whether or not I should just accept it. But now I realize that those who act and think like Ozme52 don't deserve my time. If a guy can't take 5 minutes in the beginning to at least learn the basics about me then I am better off without him. I made this thread with an open mind. Now I'm a little upset that there are guys out there who think approaching me on the topic of BDSM straight out is okay. I don't feel comfortable discussing such things with a stranger. It's not me. And I hate how guys assume that everyone is cool with it. It seems I will have to write on my profile that I don't discuss BDSM or sex with strangers because, like it or not, there are inconsiderate, impatient, rude people out there who are selfishly only looking out for themselves and care not how the other party could potentially feel about a certain topic. It's a shame. It's a damn shame.
This is an adult-oriented BDSM website - why would anyone think a member here, someone who has taken the time to register an account of her own, would be uncomfortable discussing things of a sexual nature? This is not real life either, people come here, online, to meet others with similar interests - why wouldn't they use those topics to open a conversation? If these standard practices are so offensive to you, perhaps this isn't an appropriate forum for you to meet people.

I think you are offering sweeping generalizations based on your own perceptions of what both men & women want, not considering that while your viewpoint is valid for you, it may not apply to others. I'm a person but I'm certainly not looking for a "life partner or mate" either here or in real life. Friends, yes, but there's no reason the conversations in which that friendship is founded can't start out from a discussion of our sexual interests. And while I do think that rudeness is inappropriate, I don't have any problems with someone - male or female - being direct about their interests or what they're looking for. I also don't think that directness is disrespectful. I'd rather have someone tell me what they're thinking or ask me what they really want to know up front rather than beating around the bush with mindless pleasantries for an hour. It's my choice as to whether I answer the question, change the subject, or end the conversation. That information will help determine what kind of friendship - or more - could grow out of the initial discussion. Also don't assume that just because I'm not actively seeking out a long-term relationship that I'm just looking for a string of random encounters with anyone who's interested - I'm much more highly selective than that. But how the conversation started isn't nearly as important to me as where it ends up going.