the above suggestions are excellent.

for me, during a scene, that emotional release doesn't come until well in to it but it is usually the same as your pet. i can't seem to stop crying. it feels like a good cry, though - letting all that tension and emotion out.

my trigger - when i get really frantic and upset - is when i have to do something like stand in the corner or with my fingers on my nose... i get rageful. we've tried to figure out why (i think it's mostly because i hate feeling stupid and don't want to go back to being punished like a kid but... who knows?)

i've read a lot of information here about abuse related to D/s. i'm not saying she's been abused! maybe she's simply scared. but her quick reaction to being spanked seems extreme and seems worth exploring.

it's great you are taking the time to find out about this; it's clear you love your girl. search this forum for those threads (maybe type abuse in the search function?) and see if those help. and be patient.

best wishes to both of you

here's one link... i went ahead and searched... hope it helps

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ighlight=abuse