If you're imply that you're afraid you're gay, you're not: you're submissive. As an orientation, that trumps the homo/heterosexual one. If you weren't straight at heart you wouldn't experience this as so deliciously humiliating.

You seem to have a lifestyle that makes everyone happy, so enjoy it and don't worry about how you would look to uncomprehending outsiders. Unless, of course, worrying about it makes the degradation even more exciting