I think you are referring to polyamory, or swinging, or menage.....but I'm not sure which side you are on. I also think you are referring to the possessiveness and jealousy of a partner not bent that way. I'm the one who thinks, "if a little bit is good, more would be even better." But I've been involved in a long, long marriage (separated now) with an extremely jealous and possessive spouse. My real-life experience is that you'll get your ass knocked off for even thinking about it. I'm actually pretty innocent of wrong-doing in real-life. But I've never made any bones about my belief that monogamy is synonymous with monotony. (gee---bound to have mis-spelled at least one of those words). Within this community, I think the same thing is true. "your kink is ok----until you want to share it with someone besides me." (and that, believe it or not, is true of even online relationships which are just pretend to start with). I've been a little flippant in this post but I really think I could add some serious perspective from either side of the fence to your questions. Why don't you reply and add just a tad more detail? Are you trying to become a polyamorous lover or are you trying to deal with a partner who is, for example? Or, feel free to pm me. If I am identifying the problem correctly, then I can tell you that I've done a lot of soul-searching about it. No, I'm not making a grab for you thinking that I've found a kindred spirit. This subject has caused me much grief in my life and I would love to discuss it with someone else who is interested.

Dixie