Infidelity and BDSM

[hopperboo]

I think you had some very valid points. Great post.

I think there is too much of it (marriage), I think people do it too easily, too laconically, for the wrong reasons and they often don't mean it....after all there is always divorce.

I very much agree with you. People are becoming more and more flighty about marriage. It's not a life commitment anymore, it's a moment commitment, a moment until someone says something another doesn't like, someone isn't happy for 3 minutes, or things get difficult for a period of time.

Yes, divorce is a necessary evil, but short of serious mental and physical abuse (and ironically, its those who rarely leave) I don't believe in it.

I don't understand how you can stand in front of God, or people, give your word, make a commitment...then one day take it back

I agree. Though I believe infidelity for some is a reason for divorce. Some couples can overcome that, and others cannot.

I also don't understand how people can be so easy going with marriage vows. It's especially hard for me when it's a person (or couple) who is very religious (Christian wise) and they just throw it off as a "mistake." My cousin did this a year ago...she was/is very involved with her church, and makes comment when I say the word "Hell," however last summer she took marriage vows to God and all and she got a divorce five days later. To me that is a slap in the face not only to family, but of course to God as well. (And get this - her and her ex-husband kept all the gifts). She plays the part of victim very well.

Seeing all the vanilla people getting divorced "just" because he cheated and finding it silly, ever since I was 9, my firm view on that was:...as long as he doesn't fall in love with whats above the neck, sometimes sex is just sex, isn't it? What would be the deal breaker...is him lying, or even not telling me about it. Honesty and loyalty, I value above all else.

But recently, while still holding that belief, I began to question - is it really too much to ask of men to be sexually, as well as emotionally, faithful

I expect to have a fully faithful husband. And I will not settle for anything less. If a rocky part in the marriage occurs I would hope it would be able to be fixed, and we would move on from there, but I would not ever stand for being cheated on. Ever.



Within BDSM, I think some couples are more free with their bodies and emotions in relationships. Personally I don't understand taking a marriage vow and then having sex/emotional relationship with others when marriage vows are to bind two together, not 4 or 5 or 6...but to each their own. It's not something I would want for my relationship or marriage.