badlyguidedlittlemis - No, he can not do anything which I've said no to, as I can't do anything he has said no to. Just because he is dominant does not mean he can veto my feelings.
Ds is not an equal rights arrangement. The submissive has (within the mutually agreed limits and agreement) ceded authority to the Dom. By what authority does the sub tell the Dom what he/she can and cannot do. True he cannot veto your feelings but he can veto your actions. That is what power and authority means. If you do not like it then you don't hand over authority and we return to the basic question of what submission means.
I was speaking of my own relationship, I have been encouraged by my dominant to express my opinion as to what my wishes were, or what my needs are. He does this because I have been stifled before and it caused negative behaviours which I'm trying to shift. I'm quite baffled by your response to this as this is how we work our dynamic and it is not an unhealthy thing for him to ask of me, in fact I think it's a good thing. He wouldn't veto my actions of something we had previously agreed on, such as playing with other people. He can stop me posting on a board, stop me going to the pub and all those things but he can't make me change an actions previously defined.

I am however allowed to change my own actions to suit his changing needs if I want to.

badlyguidedlittlemis - but our core relationship, the love, the trust and what keeps us loving one another is no different to my parents, who are not d/s
I get your point but it's not quite valid. BDSM is consensual, you did not choose your parents and did not agree to be spanked by them.
I wasn't talking about my parent's spanking me, I was saying my parents' relationship with each other is non d/s where my relationship with my dominant is, and the core relationship is just as strong regardless of bdsm being involved or not..