Quote Originally Posted by J-Go View Post
Originally Posted by DowntownAmber
I'm not sure I would say that. My submission to J was special to him because it was something very few people would or could ever get from me. It was exclusive. It made him feel special to recieve something unique. It made me feel the same way to give it. [/SIZE][/B]

yes it did very much so


... I have a deep desire to submit, but I am also a boundary tester and a limits pusher because I need to know my Dom can hold his ground against me, if that makes sense. I don't think this makes me a better or more true sub, but it's who I am and it sure as Hell don't make me easy to deal with...lol

This is the truest statement in this post


I don't think anyone is "looking" for an abuser either - I am simply saying that it is really damn easy to end up with one if you are not looking at yourself with as much value as you see in your Dom, and using your power of choice to select said Dom carefully and using a criteria that is healthy for you. We're agreeing on this point it seems.

If you don't respect yourself you crtainly will not respect your partner. If you can't respect a partner you certainly can't expect them to respect you. This is where any relationship hits rocky ground. To show up in a relationship with a list of "proper attributes" for a Dom or Sub is the kiss of death IMO.
It comes down to respect. respect a person for who and what they are not what you think they should be and you have a succssful friendship, relationship whatever...once you cross that boundry...good luck
Well said, J, very well said. May I add only that respect given to someone who thinks they do not deserve it is exactly the recipe for Amber's "Some, on the other hand, end up really well when a girl pairs up with a Dom that helps nurture her esteem back into the black." I would go so far as to say that such is a necessary characteristic of a Dom, and without it (and others, as well) a person is not a Dom, but merely a top that is stronger than the bottom.