Dirty Words

[Flaming_Redhead]

Great topic, I think in part its due to the fact that we live in an age of individuality and self sufficiency...and it has been built into our communal conscience that individuality equals freedom and it must be preserved at all cost.

That's a good point! Part of my fear of embracing my submissiveness has been due to being afraid of loosing my identity rather than finding it.

I think a lot of submissives, myself included, are intimidated and scared by such complete and utter surrender. Too many horror stories, too many trust issues.

I think that is the main issue here. There are submissives who can't imagine living in utter surrender, and there are dominants who wouldn't know what to do with someone like that. There are people like me who would love nothing more than to be able to surrender but are afraid, and there are a few dominants who seek someone who will give it all. Then, there are the people who are actually doing it, and we tend to look at them with a combination of fear, disgust, or envy.

My problem is actually on the opposite side, and its the reason I am reevaluating wisdom of actively pursuing this,...I am "stronger" than most men who proclaim themselves dominant.

I am one of those "strong, independent, self-sufficient" types, (I still work on the go-getter part, lol). I am also submissive....but while I may be quiet and reserved, I am far from meek...and that tends to shock and baffle men up.

As you say they "feel it necessary to proclaim that they only seek those who have something besides themselves to bring to the table", but you have nothing to worry about,...most pretty soon discover it is just too much bother and that there are easier "doormat" fish to fry.

I have felt this way before, too. It's taken me a couple of years to get where I am which is not where I thought I'd ever be.



True, I have had the same thought myself...it depends on your definition of need. Just because I don't need him, doesn't mean I don't need him.

Right! I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting that you need someone, but everyone's so afraid of being seen as needy that they put up a facade like a brick wall. Vulnerability is not a bad thing.