Quote Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead View Post
Dictionary.com has several slang definitions for doomat which include a person who is the habitual object of abuse or humiliation by another, one who submits meekly to domination or mistreatment by others, and a person who is physically weak and ineffectual. I have fit all of these descriptions at some point in my life and sometimes still do. It can be very difficult to go against one's innate nature, and just because one speaks up doesn't mean one will be heard or even taken seriously. I have learned the hard way that "sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto" to quote one of my favorite movies, "Dolores Claiborne."





In the first paragraph, I used terms that I'd read in this very forum, two of them from the thread on verbal humiliation. The prejudice is insidious and unlikely to offend the majority. The minority it does offend are unllikely to speak up, but I'm doing it now.



Many people do need to get off their asses. However, I think it takes a strong person not to give in to the peer pressure to be something she isn't. One can run themselves ragged trying to do whatever it takes to find happiness, especially when one is told to be more outgoing or to do this or that, instead of just being themselves and being happy.
This is an honest inquiry as to the dilemma with the term....if indeed someone feels their "true" *gag...cuz i hate that term* lol submissiveness is shown in being weak, completely reliant upon a Master/Mistress, being there solely to serve, then why should the term doormat be looked upon as a slight? Again, as others have stated I think the honest concern shown by most in the "lifestyle" is when someone, anyone is making concessions not by choice but out of such a lack of inner strength as to not know what they want or need. To be a doormat because it is what you need and what your partner desires is VERY different from being a "doormat" because you believe you derserve nothing more and have no worth, it fulfils no need, and leaves them feeling empty. I think very few who are "truly" in the lifestyle (rolls eyes at the horrid need to label) look down upon any that have found that true place where they find fulfillment in their role.

Again I hope that this is seen as honestly meant...as an honest inquiry