Dirty Words

[Flaming_Redhead]

Just my thought but I had always perceived a doormat to be someone who accepts that which she doesn’t really want…not as in punishment for an indiscretion but in life in general, a person who is not willing to speak up or act when things aren’t right for her.

Dictionary.com has several slang definitions for doomat which include a person who is the habitual object of abuse or humiliation by another, one who submits meekly to domination or mistreatment by others, and a person who is physically weak and ineffectual. I have fit all of these descriptions at some point in my life and sometimes still do. It can be very difficult to go against one's innate nature, and just because one speaks up doesn't mean one will be heard or even taken seriously. I have learned the hard way that "sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto" to quote one of my favorite movies, "Dolores Claiborne."

Again, just my thought….isn’t making the choice to fulfill a need still a choice?

There are always choices. Some people are better at making good choices than others. One can only try to do what they feel is best at any given time, but it doesn't necessarily always turn out the way we'd imagined.

I personally, have never gotten the impression that anyone here feels this way.

In the first paragraph, I used terms that I'd read in this very forum, two of them from the thread on verbal humiliation. The prejudice is insidious and unlikely to offend the majority. The minority it does offend are unllikely to speak up, but I'm doing it now.

For me happy is the key word here…many people go through life simply existing, not truly happy (been there done that) it takes a strong person imo to know what makes them truly happy and to do whatever it takes to achieve this. I also think my idea of a doormat is very unlikely to find this happiness…probably about as likely as winning the lotto.

Many people do need to get off their asses. However, I think it takes a strong person not to give in to the peer pressure to be something she isn't. One can run themselves ragged trying to do whatever it takes to find happiness, especially when one is told to be more outgoing or to do this or that, instead of just being themselves and being happy.