As a dominant male, I want to say how much I enjoyed reading the thoughts and opinions of all the subs that have contributed to this topic. It's always a pleasure to read an open and honest look into an individual you admire, and there is nothing I love or admire more than a submissive soul. Much of your frustration seems to be due to dominant males and somewhat close minded members of the community(society?) I think I have a perspective that may explain a small portion of this. Now if I may take a crack at responding....

There's another married M/s couple on another BDSM site whose posts detail the fact that she is loved and cherished above all else, even though she's the type that unless you take her by the hand and lead her out will stand in the subway all day letting others go first.
I believe the bias or judgment towards couples like this, is mainly a factor of projection. Specifically projection of fear. As a dom if I had a slave like this, how would I know she's safe when I'm not around? I must admit I doubt I could sleep if I knew somebody I cared about might now care for herself. If a restaurant under cooked her food, would she take it back or go hungry? Now this couple has been around for awhile, so I'm certain she has the sense necessary to eventually enter a subway, but people who see a high level of vulnerability will always have something to say about it. Be it, constructive or otherwise.

Just observe how many submissive women feel it necessary to state that they aren't weak and don't need a dominant male to make their lives complete. Obviously, there is still a stigma attached to being submissive, even amongst those in the lifestyle. Further evidence of this can be seen in the number of dominant males who feel it necessary to proclaim that they only seek those who have something besides themselves to bring to the table. Apparently, the gift of submission isn't held in as high esteem as lifestylers would have one believe.
Not to be rude, but some submissive women aren’t weak and will often take short breaks from the lifestyle, it's obvious they don't "need" they "enjoy" submitting. They may find it necessary to state this fact for a number of reasons, maybe they’re worried that a dominate male specifically looking for a weak women will damage or abuse them in some way. The “dominate”
males you speak of are, according to your own words, simply a number and they have a right to desire most anything they like. Doesn’t mean they’ll get it, but if somebody chooses to give it to them, then who are we to say anything against them? I will only accept a million dollars if it’s in a blue bag. Now it seems silly to compare submission to a million dollars, submission is worth far more, but you can’t make a moral argument that I MUST accept a million dollars in a wheel barrel, it’s obviously my loss(or the “dominate males” in question). Also I have a hard time picturing any submissive who doesn’t have something to bring to the table, perhaps you could clarify that point.

The question burning in my mind is this. With so few masters actually willing to be entirely responsible for another human being, where does that leave the truely submissive? Where can they (we?) find a safe haven and acceptance, if not here in the lifestyle? With everyone encouraging others to just be themselves, why does it always feel like they're (we're?) not included?
This is the most quoted section of your post, and I didn’t want to be left out. I’m, again, not entirely sure what you mean when you say “entirely responsible for another human being” as this is in a middle class bdsm couple, completely impossible. I say, middle class, because that’s what most of us are. We have to work, sleep, meet our vanilla friends, care for our family and run errands. How can I be responsible for a submissive female while she’s at work? This responsibility sounds more like a pet(mmm kinky) than a submissive, however with a dog you put it in the back yard with a weeks’ worth of food and everything is fine. I wouldn’t kennel a human being, no matter how submissive. If a couple can survive this level of dependence I applaud and would love to meet them. I need somebody that can get on and off a subway if I’m out of town. I hope you take the time to respond to some/all of the responses to your topic. There is much more to be said here and I’d love to read it.