Dirty Words

[icey]

interesting thread

I have nothing against erotic humiliation. In fact, it's one of my major turn-ons. I'll happily answer to just about anything my lover chooses to call me. What I do have a problem with in this lifestyle is the almost constant verbal degradation of those perceived to be at the extreme end of the spectrum in regards to submission. We call them all manner of things, including unsophisticated, timid, needy, and weak, but most often, we refer to them as doormats.

ive found that the only people who label submissives doormats or try to degrade them tend to be either the egotistical wannabees who havnt the first idea of D/s or ''vanillas'' who cant grasp the concept and can only see it as a throw back to the 50's society ie head of the household/nurturing wife type marriages.

Further evidence of this can be seen in the number of dominant males who feel it necessary to proclaim that they only seek those who have something besides themselves to bring to the table. Apparently, the gift of submission isn't held in as high esteem as lifestylers would have one believe.

do you mean something else as in property,income etc? or other talents persdonality traits and such?
sorry if ive misunderstood you, but is there anything wrong with a Dominant wanting a partner who has more to offer other than just doing the laundry,cooking,cleaning and being available sexualy as and when? i think almost anyone wants a partner who can stimulate them on an intellectual level,have fun and all the other ''normal'' every day couple things..i know i would and most Dominants ive ever come across feel the same.
and i think many submissives like to make it clear that they are not doormats simply because of all the wannabee idiot so called Dom/mes out there..we all get sick of being told to ''kneel bitch''..''know your role'' etc by total strangers on IM and the like!

The question burning in my mind is this. With so few masters actually willing to be entirely responsible for another human being, where does that leave the truely submissive? Where can they (we?) find a safe haven and acceptance, if not here in the lifestyle? With everyone encouraging others to just be themselves, why does it always feel like they're (we're?) not included?

encouraging others to be themselves is a positive thing,whether that be encouraging them to be their usual independant type or encouraging them to be their usual dependant selves, i guess it works both ways and everyone should be included in that whatever type of submissive they are..im curious what does define the ''truly submissive''?
and most people,im not saying all find that in reality and the society we live in it's impossible to be totally taken care of or totally take care and control of because life generally throws too many obstacles in the way for that.
like anything there are different degrees of submission and as long as people find what works for themselves and their partners then it shouldnt really matter what others say or think, it's been reiterated over and over again and i believe it's true their is no true type of D/s r/ship.no bdsm bible that tells us what we MUST do or be if we want to call ourselves Dominant or submissive and maybe it's other peoples insecurities and worries that give them the need to determine their is?
and i certainly dont need acceptance from anyone in the way i choose to live any of my r/ships, people can take me or leave me; if they choose not to ''include'' me then i dont give a damn..why waste my time on them? i want people to accept me for who and what i am not on the basis of what type of r/ship i have or how submissive or non-submissive i am.

we all have our own beliefs,ways of doing things, our own ways of making our r/ships what we want them to be and its my feeling that we should all be respected for that.

im rambling sorry just throwing in my 2 cents worth