wow...good questions. And a good place to find some answerers. I say some answers not THE answers for the simple fact that in this life...there are few questions with only one correct answer.

1.) If I allow someone to do something to me or for me to fulfill my desires does that mean that I am submitting?
Not necessarily... it all depends on the relationship between you and the other person. If I allow my sub to fulfill one of my desires, I am still the Domme. It is all about the dynamic that is established and the attitude or point of view of the participants.

2.)what is it like to be a Dom(me)/ sub and what do they get out of it?

3.)Where is the line between Domme/ sub?

4.)What are the characteristics of being a Dom(me)/ sub?
I grouped these three questions together for the simple fact that my answer to them is all the same. The basic answer is "it all depends on YOU." What it's like to be a Dom(me)/sub/Switch and what you get out of it depends on what you're personal style and wants and needs and how much you put into it. The line between Dom(me) and sub also depends on you. Each position in the relationship is a gray area that you need to define for yourself and/or with your partner. and as a Switch, that line may be different than as strictly a Dom(me) or a sub. And as to the characteristics of a Dom(me) or sub...ask every person who is a member on this forum and you will get an individual and different answer from each person. That is something you need to define for yourself. And that definition need not be fast and hard. There is always room for growth, change and adaptation in the definitions of things.

5.) How do you know if someone is trust worthy to explore these with?
This one is much harder to answer and I'm not sure I have an answer at the moment. The best advice I can give is to observe and ask questions (which it seems you are already doing very well at) and trusting your judgment. Visit the chat, ask questions and observe people in there. Read through the threads and see how people answer threads. That is the best advice i can give a the moment. Someone may have a better/more complete answer to this last question than I can provide.

You have made a very good beginning with these questions and simply by being here. Good luck in your search and by all means...bring on any more questions you have. Someone will have an answer for you.