My Love...

I read your words and the immediate desire of my heart and of my body is to run to you and to wrap myself around you, to have you wrap yourself around me. I gave myself to you once, and I still know now as I knew then that my place in this life is that place you take me when you whisper you love me, that place of overlap between two people. Such a space can only be created by the two of us together; it takes equal parts of both our souls. The darkness of these days of not having you beside me looms blackest because of the light that preceded it, like walking into a dim room after being in the sunshine. I know that you understand this. I know you also understand the pain of not having you beside me twists me in ways that compel me to fall at your feet and ask you to make it all better for me, to complete me.

As you describe it in your letter, I believe you see the sculpture you wish to create. Your eyes see through the roughness of the stone to the shape you wish to set free, but I do not know yet if you are able to wield the tools at your disposal to create your ends. I know you have studied and learned, I know you know how, but it is not enough to see the angel in the marble; you must carve to set him free.

When you accept me back, it will be an invitation into a place in your life that you have done everything possible to welcome me back into and to make safe for me. I cannot accept less. I do not require perfection, I do not ask for you to compromise your own journey, not at all. I simply require the best of you, as I will offer you the best of me. As the one who loves me and is proud of me, I could not see you even wanting me to accept anything less. I cannot see you wanting to accept anything less, either.

You know that I cannot be your partner right now, not completely. I love you too much to fake it, to come into your life accepting only scattered pieces of you just to make this pain of separation subside. You also know, however, that I believe you will make a proper place for me in your life, and I will wait for you as you do so. To claim me in this place will be worth that wait; for both of us.

Carve and you’ll find me my Love, I know you know what you’re looking for. Set us free.