To take a relationship from 'normal' to D/s after ten years is one hell of a jump. It's not surprising you'll have to back off a bit from time to time.

It's essential to be able to do that too- you obviously need to have a sturdy relationship with someone before you can consider the leap to D/s.

Speaking of which- do you??

To my way of thinking a D/s relationship is more intense than just about any other. I belive you have to work up to it in stages, firm foundations & all that.

Just from what you've said, Dear Abby would probably think that you guys have other issues to sort out, & perhaps would be better off leaving the D/s or just taking it slow.

On top of that you're having troubles with your son- geez, you guys are sure up against it!

Oh & delia's post is very good indeed.