I agree that this is a two-way road, WhippedCream. However, I don't feel entirely unjustified for my concern. I think when a dom assumes the role of the dom, he or she automatically assumes the majority of the responsibility. They are in control, and if it gets out of control, most of the blame lies with the dom.

Of course, that is not to say that the sub doesn't provoke or influence much of the dom's behavior, but the dom should still be in control enough to recognize when a certain behavior, activity, or attitude is not healthy for their relationship, or if a sub is acting in a way that could jeopardize his or her well-being. That's when the dom should immediately put a stop to said behavior, activity, or attitude.

I think when inklings of abuse begin to creep into a D/s relationship, there is cause for concern. I commend this couple for being open enough and concerned enough to seek out help and advice. That shows me that they really do love and care for each other, and that they want to fix their problems rather than just give up. Best wishes, DT and wife.
-Phantome