Quote Originally Posted by fetishdj View Post
I think one confusing aspect would be the similarity between subdrop and love - when you love someone it is the same feeling when they leave you.
im not sure about this i cant honestly say ive felt it that way.

as an eg this is how it affected me one time its the worst most prolonged 'drop' ive ever had.although admittedly it is hard to describe.

i was high as a kite for a while after playing,giddy laughing and wobbling all over the place,and Icehawk watched me carefully like always hugging me giving me a drink etc it was just the same as other times nothing out of the ordinary.
but then i started feeling really down really miserable as though something was not right.


i had a sleep a little later and struggled the rest of the day but Icehawk kept an eye on me,we knew it was from dropping ,but then all through that night i didnt sleep well and had some really bad dreams and nightsweats and the next morning i thought i was ok just tired and a bit disasociated but that it would pass which sometimes can happen with me so i didnt think that much of it.
but when we went shopping which in hindsight we shouldnt have, i was feeling shaky,nauseous and miserable on and off even irritated, over sensitive,

Icehawk left me just for a minute to get something and i got really paranoid it seemed like everyone was staring and talking about me,my vision was a little blurred i started feeling panicky and was convinced he had just abandoned me and started to cry and shake was hot and cold and i really thought i was going to vomit and at one point actually felt like i was going to pass out.
the guy at the checkout asked me if i wanted to sit down and have a sip of water but tbh while i heard him it was like from a distance i didnt even really take in what he was saying o that he was talking to me.

Icehawk had to hold me steady while we got back to the car keeping me constantly occupied and alert without overstimulating me or the minute my concentration went i was back to feeling dazed and weepy.

he gave me icecream tucked me up in bed and read to me until i fell asleep and didnt leave my side,it wasnt until a day or so later that fully stopped all the time he kept a close eye on me.

ive had the odd drop since then with some similar 'symptoms' but never as intense as that.
Even though we were aware of it and id had lows before,Icehawk had seen others drop too he'd never seen anyone react quite that badly luckily he's sensible and doesnt get stressed out but he admitted afterwards he'd been worried at one point it had unnerved him a bit too.

thats just something that happened to me and some have no doubt had it much worse and some much less but i think its something people do need to be aware of there isnt just the physical risks from playing but the emotional too and while people mention playing can be emotional and advise people on aftercare and what subspace can be like, how to do this how not to do that etc you can never really find much out there its a subject thats never really touched upon.
there's no stigma attached to it its not a failure and i think people should recognise that and be more open,it could be very helpful to others.

*jumps off the soap box*