Hi Wolf101!

Quote Originally Posted by wolf101 View Post
Hi I'm Wolf101 and I thought Id ask yall about how easy or hard it was to find a partner. If you want to get to know me better message me.
Finding a partner can be a tricky process. It can take quite a bit of time and effort. Any potential partner worth their salt is probably not going to volunteer right away. They will want to get to know you a bit first, and in turn, you'll probably want to get to know a few things about them too. Appearing desperate is, I'm told, a surefire way to end a relationship before it begins.

I have no experience here, but I've been told that relationships between switches can often be quite tricky as well because, as a general rule, switches don't seem inclined to switch for each other very often. They often choose to find separate people to dom them from those they wish to dom.

One way to make this process go a little easier is to be willing to put out bits and pieces of information about yourself. For example, I have a blog on another BDSM web site and have been an active participant in that community for quite some time. When I got there, I was a complete newbie, and made a wide variety of newbie mistakes. However, I also took the time to sit back and watch and observe. Its amazing how much one can observe and learn from the actions and interactions of others. I've also been very clear on the type of relationships I was looking for, and have been able to express that in a chat room, in forum posts, and on blogs. The more of yourself that you are able to express (and it has to be truthfully!), the more likely people will be inclined to potentially take you under their wing. I am currently a subbie to somebody on that web site. The relationship took several months to materialize. (Read below for how I managed it.)

As a switch, I've been told that it is generally easier to start life out as a subbie as people will be less inclined to play with somebody they perceive to be inexperienced as a dom. I don't know how true that is, but that is what I've been told. Still, its not easy to find a good match. Be prepared to take your time, and just because somebody offers, don't feel like you are forced to give an answer right away. I've been solicited twice to Dom some people, and on both occasions, I've declined because, although I have the desire to explore that side of myself, I'm not sure I could do so if it was not the right person on the other end. So far, online, I've only met two or three people I might actually be willing to Dom. For various reasons, either because they were already committed or because of my own situational circumstances, it hasn't worked out for me yet. I'm hopeful for the future, but I'm also realizing I need to take my time here. Just as I feel I don't want to put myself in peril as a sub to somebody else, I don't want to potentially put somebody else in peril with me as a Dom if I'm not genuinely ready for that opportunity with the specific person involved.

In other words, try not to rush it so much. If you put out enough feelers and clues about yourself, eventually, people will want to get to know you on a more personal level. It never hurts to specifically ask, but don't do so too aggressively or you'll be likely to find yourself without any willing takers.

(Probably, this should be split off into another thread as it clearly will sway from introductions. Is there some way to do that?)