im betting the most pleasing thing to him will be that you try and that you are you
there is no scale, officialy set roles,and rights and wrongs every r/ship is different and if people are happy then does it really matter what 'category' they fall into?

i have children too and no its not always easy it can even be a bloody nightmare at times! i know as a good parent im not supposed to say that! but im also human lol.