I also worried about topping from the bottom especially when Master and I first got together. I was very inexperienced in the lifestyle. Reading about it and having a long distance internet/telephone relationship is totally different experience than having a Master I am with almost every day. Our relationship started out more S/m than D/s and so my topping from the bottom concerns were originally based on activities when we were in session. I did speak about my fears to Master because I did think that it was the greatest sin that a slave could commit. I didn't want to undermine his authority or overstep my bounds. He assured me that it is never topping if I remember how to ask for what I desire. I can not say I want or need something, as a slave I have no right to have wants or needs but i can make a request as a wish or a desire. The phrases "I want" and "I need" have been more or less eradicated from my vocabulary and if they slip in I get that look that says I had better back peddle as fast as I can.

So for example when we are in session if I desire the use of a particular whip I can politely inform Master that I wish that he would give me ten more lashes with Keira. A request that when stated properly would never be refused. Master can be very accommodating when approached in the correct manner and I can't remember a time when he has refused me anything when I have made a request in this way.

As we moved more into the D/s realm Master has made it clear that there are certain things that are my responsibility to decide on. All minor decisions are mine, such as what is on the menu for supper or what I wear. He says he makes decisions all week at work and doesn't want to be bother by the small stuff. As his slave one of my most important responsibilities is to make his life easier. If I am unsure of what he would like I ask him directly for his input and if possible give him choices. He is actually very easy going with most things but that does not preclude the fact that he can ask me to make changes if he is unhappy with what I am preparing or what I am wearing. I now know better what he likes and what he expects, as we progress and I allow my enslavement to deepen this happens less and less.

One of the things that helps me remember my Ps and Qs is that I always address him as Sir. I rarely call him by his given name even in public. The fact that I wear symbols of my slavery 24/7 also helps to remind me of my place. Still there are times that I forget and that is when Master gives me the look, he then rolls his eyes in such a way that says "why me" while I am making my apologies. He often teases me that I am completely untrainable and totally incorrigible and it will take him a lifetime to try to train me. ( A prospect that we both are very much looking forward to.)