Welcome to the forum- here's my thoughts on what you said in your excellent intro.
I believe there's not so much 'a' sub or 'a' Dom- I think it's a relationship between two people that works in that way.
I wouldn't want to Dom every woman or every sub- but to do it with my susy is an amazing experience.
You have to find the right person- not the right Dom (or Domme, female version) in my opinion. Someone you get to know first very very well. Someone who understands your limits & needs. Most important, someone you feel comfortable with.
Online works for some people- that's what I do with my susy, never met her & never will (don't think her bf would appreciate that)
I have another kinky friend who I'll be meeting to play with for 'real'- the online thing doesn't work with us.
Check this site out, http://www.submissiveloving.com/ learn all you can, there's a heap of forums & sites.
Feel free to PM anyone who looks like they know what they're talking about, myself included & most of all- don't take it too seriously, it's fun. Lots of fun.

Tojo