Thanks for your thoughts, Mad Lews. Actually, the whole point of the piece was to write something in the 2nd person. It wasn't a proper assignment, just a spin-off from a question I had asked Ruby. So I called it a preliminary assignment.

I know about the full stops (periods) before conjunctions and the like. I've already been told-off about them by Aussiegirl and by Dragon's Muse. The thing is, I like short sentences. And I like adding to them. It's like pushing a row of toy cars along a table top. Until they fall ... building tension or speeding the narration. Especially in the present tense. Or at the points you have highlighted (... practical person. Good with his hands ... and ... straight out of school. And he was.) I was listing Bill's attributes in a stream of thought manner, and concluding them with an affirmative "he was".

But I know it pisses people off because I over-use it: even here I'm doing it! I will try to restrain myself more.

You found He looks like Darth Vader, you think, and you will him to destroy you awkward. I don't see why. To will something is to try to make it happen by will power; that is what Sandra was doing.

The phrase never needed twice asking is well-understood in Britain, and its meaning is clear. So it can remain as a colourful expression.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again for reviewing it.


TYWD.