Thanks for the input, Mr. Mad (and Lews). I took furious notes and will be reviewing them as soon as time allows. Then when more time allows, I will apply your useful criticisms where noted.
Ms. Ruby, I will be re-working the details and making improvements to my story. Thank you so much for the suggestions and ideas you've given me here to help my writer's cause. ~hugs~
tessa
ps. He wasn't muttering to the passed out victim, not in my version at least. Interesting that you both thought he was. I'll work to clarify that as well.