Hi Ruby. When I read the heading and saw who posted the thread, I did think you and T were having some troubles. Phew!

If the relationship is an abusive one, and by all accounts this is, and the abusive partner is indeed stalking his/her partner, then my alarm bells are ringing.

Regardless of the fact that BDSM is involved, the whole situation sounds just so messy.

The sub ended the relationship that was abusive. Power and control was taken away from the Dom/me. S/he is obviously not adjusting to this turn of events, and is trying to control the sub by your listing of a,b,c and d.

TG Has listed a very good response to try and thwart the stalker. But in reality, the victim is really in a powerless situation and must always be on guard and alert. Red has also given some excellent advice.

Just a word for you Ruby, I don’t know how well you know this person, or how close they are to you, but in some abusive cases, and I'm saying only some, the victim pushes the buttons that sends there partner into becoming abusive, the reasoning behind this is that after the violence, the abusive person is so apologetic and full of remorse, and the victim is so forgiving and understanding. This is the time where the abuser becomes so loving and tender towards the victim, and the victim has what they want, a loving partner, sometimes the one they fell in love with. This is also the point where power roles are reversed. This is an extreme example I know, but we are talking of multideficit relationships here, and I want you to be aware that sometimes even though a victim asks for help and advice, it‘s not always acted upon, and also, this can be for a number of reasons as well.