The point of this thread was not to bash or judge anyone for their personal preferences or kinks. It was to discuss the role of pain in BDSM.

If the "pain" in the relationship works for you and your partner, whether it be for pain, pleasure, punishment or amusement, then by all means keep doing what works for you.

To label someone's actions as selfish or unsafe, does not label that person. It describes how the posters feel about those actions within the topics described. Everyone is welcome to their own opinion.

I repeat and stand by my earlier comments:

I have friends who have survived some brutal relationships, where the dom would beat them, just because he could. Not for their mutual pleasure, but for the dom's pleasure.

Please note: Some of them have ended up in the hospital or under a doctor's care, because of this rather brutal treatment. Therefore, in my opinion:

When safe words are not recognized, boundaries are not respected, when the rules are constantly changing and the sub is kept off balance or living in fear, then we move into the realm of selfishness and abuse.

fwss,

If I appeared to be judgemental of any SS&C or RISK relationship, please forgive me. That was not my intention. Thank you for voicing this concern. It is valid.

master_kyrk1,

Thank you so much for providing that insightful post.

Ranai,

Well said.

Who's next?