Jean and Friede,

You are not alone.

For me, a little pain during play can add spice to the moment, like adding a little pepper to a meal.

Lots of pain and I don't like it, don't want it, and there better be a very, very, good reason for it.

BDSM is many things to many people, not all of us practice hard S/M.

For those that do, many times pain is a reward, not a punishment. If your pet/slave/sub is an M, punishment would be to remove the pain.

"Hit me, beat me, whip me," said M.
"No," said S. :-[

Ruby