I just finished reading the first 10 chapters of your story and found it quite entertaining. The characters personalities genuine and realistic and the plot descriptive and logical. Even though this story lacked the true "action" that most short stories would get to much faster, these first ten chapters would be an excellent start of a much longer story, now that a relationship has been established. Although I don't have much authority as a writer to condemn or commend your story, as a reader I found this a delightful and pleasing introduction to a hopefully much longer saga.


--Dante