First of all, let me point out, how grateful I am for this thread. If I recall it correctly, it originates from a very different question raised my a member in another thread.

Second, hello again Nikka, I am very happy to see that your progress allows you to get involved in the community to such an extent again.

More on the subject matter here, may I present a male dominant view with a different angle. Throughout my adult life, I have had difficulties "performing" in one way or another for certain periods of time. I have struggled with this for a very long time (which did not make it esier on me or my respective partners), and found my peace only very recently. For me, sex is part of any relationship, vanilla or otherwise, and not being able to perform "the act" seemed to make me a "lesser" partner in my own eyes.

Thanks to a brief encounter with a submissive person, this perspective has changed. For the first time in my life, I did not feel "inferior", "inadequate" or such if I did not succeed in having sex with her. She taught me that the actual act can lose its importance, if there are strong feelings between caring partners, that sexual gratification can be so much more than a few minutes of "humping". And, as someone else also mentioned, it was she who worried about me not getting enough, while giving her pleasure.

To sum it up: sex can become of secondary importance, as long as there is love, trust and true partnership and sexual gratification is gained by both partners together, maybe through BDSM play.

SMartie57