How far do you go?

[tessa]

Should a couple be free to agree that there is no such answer as "no" to sex within their relationship? If they should not be free to make that agreement as consenting adults, why is that?

A couple of consenting adults should indeed have the freedom to make that decision in their relationship. But one or the other deciding without the agreement of the other? Nope, that just shouldn't be...in any form.

The thread is called "How far do you go?" This is how far I have ever went, once. We did not have a safe word, we still don't want one. She said she thought I had gone a little too far, so I learned from that and became better at interpreting her voice, words, and body language. We have had similar sex since, never because we agree on beforehand that we will have a rape game, but because we know each other so well that we know we both often want to and can tell when the other one is not up to it.

So you learned from it and you both decided to move on. In your case, no damage done. In another's case, that same scenario might not have turned out so wonderfully. Glad to hear you and your's are doing well.

How many people have never gone too far? My guess is none.

My husband's never gone too far. "Dammit" and "Thank God" all in the same breath.

Is it not mature to forgive and go on?

It sure is, as long as the offender is considered forgiveable by the offendee. If not, then unforgiven is just the way it's going to be, but the inability to forgive doesn't automatically make one immature...just human.

Thanks for the response, rce.

tessa