Quote Originally Posted by Lil One
Thanks TaintedJohn and chksng19. I knew posting my question here would get me some sane and balanced advice.
(snip)
One follow-up question - Does anyone have a "success" story of two subs making a BDSM relationship work? Is it possible? If so, what types of things need to be discussed and negotiated? Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks to all of you for such a great site!
Advice hereabouts is free, and sometimes worth what you pay for it
, but you are most welcome. Success shared increases human happiness as a whole.

My partner and I are both kind of switches. I like being sub, so does she. I like pleasing her by being Dom now and again, she likes to do the reverse. We have to discuss limits, safewords, etc, etc, until we're comfortable with the whole thing.

I think the most important thing is to be sensitive to the needs of your partner. If she likes it but I don't, I'll do it because her orgasms turn me on (don't know why, just the way I'm wired, I guess). If I want to try something she's hinky about, we'll work together on it.

(For instance, when my lady was in college, she was raped anally. During her first marriage, her abuser, ah, I mean first husband tried to do it several times; she damn near tore his nuts off. When I proposed it, she was terrified. Flashbacks like crazy. I looked at myself, and asked, if it were me, how would I want it done? Gently and gradually.

Without pushing it, I started playing with the back hole when she came. This allowed her to connect one with the other. Over the period of a couple months, we gentled it along. Before long, it worked. Now she loves it!)

That's what's necessary. And that's what works. Patience, caring, patience, and respect. The rest will come with time. Yes, we're vanilla-based; but we're growing and changing. You can too!