But our sessions are never *exactly* what I need.

Then this is what you should let him know. Let him know that you need to be closer to the edge, but you will safe-word if he gets to the point of real pain. Tell him that you know he cherishes you, but you will not break, so he should not worry and just bang away.

It's better to be honest and if you wait on this, and maybe other things, then a few years down the road it will be much more difficult to be open about what spins your wheels.

This also makes it easier for him to be open about what he exactly wants.

Anyways you sound like you guys got a good thing going. All the best.

tj