I haven't given it consideration as to whether or not making her mine earlier would have made a difference. If that were the case then the night would have progressed VERY differently, and I don't think we'd be having this conversation, prolly different one - like what I learned about that night or something perhaps more jovial.
I don't know about the freudian slip...I think I just didn't know the proper word to use, but I can't argue the fact I'm beating myself up spiritually over this.
You are correct that I was not responsible for her at the party, but the agreements that I've made within myself make me responsible to be there for my friends at the times when I can. I left, because I couldn't hack the scene, that is what's killing me. I let my own feelings cloud my judgement. Somehow I think I may have answered something right there, but I'll leave that open for discussion.

"It's easier to stand for one's principles, than it is to live up to them"
-Can't remember who said that but I agree.

-Sullied