Quote Originally Posted by sullied
I'm looking for honest opinions and advice, if you wanna tear me a new one feel free too - just include advice on what to do rather then going into a rant.

-Sullied
Opinions:

“The best-laid plans of mice and men
Gang aft agley (=often go wrong).
And leave us naught but grief and pain
For promised joy.” -- Robert Burns

You did the right thing by not scening when you didn't feel up to it.

Now you have lots of guilt, because of what happened after that.

Advice:

Forgive yourself and release the toxic guilt from your system.
We all make mistakes.
Remember the lesson, cause history tends to repeat when we forget.

Set yourself up for success next time.
* If you aren't up to doing a scene, don't.
* Agree beforehand if you will or won't watch her scene with someone else.
* Agree if you will be there for her aftercare.
* Follow through.

It sounds like you could use some aftercare.
Here's a long distance hug, rubbing your back and
saying those nice soothing words:
"It's okay, it will be better next time. You can do it."

Best wishes,
Ruby