Very worried that current bdsm is caused by past abuse

[ValKyrie]

I have met a number of people who are involved in D/s who have a history of abuse. I have also met many other people in vanilla relationships with the same history. There are arguements both ways.

My opinion, for what it is worth:

Certainly, our upbringing could impact our desires, but should not dictate them.

By that, BDSM should NEVER be used in as therapy for past issues, issues that need to be dealt with. If you have unresolved issues surrounding the abuse, you need to see a therapist, do for yourself and make yourself healthy and complete before taking the emotional risks attached to humiliation play.

I found your comments regarding the female role models in your life interesting. I want to tell you that D/s should never be about ruining yourself for another. A healthy D/s relationship promotes growth, health, happiness and self efficacy.

So, could your history have anything to do with your current desires? Sure.

Could your history be the prevailing reason for your desires? Possibly. But if so, leave those desires behind and get some support and assistance in recognizing and dealing with whatever emotional scars remain.

Best wishes to you,

Mistress Val

[Mobius]

Well I certainly hope the person that held you prisoner is spending some quality time with a guy named Bubba but in Luxembourg I guess his name would be Helmut Say 25 years experiencing anal rape is a suitable punishment for what you went through.

I have read of 2 women that were held in Russia were they were abducted when they were teens repeatable raped and impregnated tortured until they were discovered when they were 28. There was also A woman in the US that was held in a box under this guys bed for over 10 years. She eventually felt that she belonged there. She visited her family went shopping but returned to her box under the bed. Never said any thing of her captivity. She was Finlay found the Captor thrown in the clink. She wrote a book that I have been trying to find. Don't imagine it being very erotic.

As for me, I was never abused and I never or have never abused any one. I guess that make's me a self made perv.
I can remember getting a woody during an episode of the thunder birds were the Puppets were tied up.(Hey I was only 8 what do you want). I also had a Major thing for Emma Peal in the avengers. Loved that Iron corset.

I am very sorry that my fantasy was your reality. It has always been a thing for me to possess a female sub. To remove her identity to control her completely.

You can rest assured that it will remain an unfofilled fantasy. Unless of course I win the Lottory and get 300 million. Then all bets are off. But seeing that I dont play the lottory, Female submissives accross the world can rest safe tonight.