I never realized how much more the bottom can take once in the right mindset.

The "I'm frightened" was kind of a joke, but not really on reflection. I know that the discipline and giving up of your power to another is at the core of making whatever fetish a better experience for the sub and the dom. It was nice to play sub, but to live sub is a completely different kettle of fish to me. Having the Mistress of the house wake up in a bad mood, not an uncommon occurrence, demanding I do the yard work in a French maid's outfit would certainly hit a hard limit with me. Yeah, the public humiliation card would crack me pretty quick. I also wouldn't want to challenge her over something she wished me to do that wasn't a severe pain issue.

The emotions that I felt during the floggings, while falling asleep, and into the next day were surprisingly strong. The calm and excitement I felt the next day rocked me the most. I had no sexual release the night before, but here I was having STRONG feelings about myself from a beating I had the day before.

During the sessions, the pain got my attention, but it felt good to experience it. Stopping was always a letdown for me. The idea that my wife was getting all hot while she was beating me was difficult to wrap my mind around. It still is.

The falling asleep right after was the best. The sleep of the sub, way peaceful.

TJ