Wannabe...???

[I1985]

My title may seem stange,and probably is a weighty subject here, but I'll explain later on.

I've been a member here for some time now, probably a few months already. Almost immediatly I posted a simple, short, to the point introduction. But think it is time to tell more.

Long before I even knew that there was a such lifestyle, I was interested in it. Enjoying tying others, and myself in a playfull setting for example. Around the age of 15 we got access to internet and probably around 17 discovert the world of BDSM. As any horny adolescent just browsing galleries. But soon started to read stories on various sites, I was hooked.

Over the years I selected only the better sites, or at least the ones I liked. Mostly free sites due to very limited budget as a student. This site has always been one of the best since I found it. And only a few months ago got the courage to join the forum and occasionaly visit the chat. Sadly because I live in the Netherlands there are some difficulties about visiting in the busy hours. But I try to throw in a saturday night now and a again to experience the great world of the chatbox. On weekdays it's almost impossible, certainly considered my job in construction, wich keeps me away from home from 6.00 to 17.00. And requires me going to bed around 22.00. Sadly so...

But lets tell something about me. First of all I want to say that I don't want to brag, just telling the thruth. I consider myself to be quite intelligent, wich some people count as a major advantage. At least in my case I don't. Because it made me malfunction in school due to boredom. I can do most things I really want. But tend to be sloppy about the things I don't want to do. In my case it resulted in average to good grades, execpt on languages. Sure there was the occaissional rotten egg among the rest, but still very acceptabel. Considering the fact I almost never did any homework, I could have done much better, and should...

Because all this resulted in dropping from the highest public level, to high, to medium. After screwing that up as well, decided I needed a job. I've always have been better in practical things, although I enjoy mental challenges as well. After some searching I ended up in construction, in an unskilled job. But quite like it actually, despite the fact there is practically no carreer to be made. Anyhow being smart does have the advantage of easy learning, wich resultes in an alternating job. Something I really love.

Next to have some hobbies that take up quite a bit of time. At the moment firm number one would be my motorbike, a Honda Africa Twin. It's an allroad, meaning a cross between a tour and cross motorbike. Spending al lot of time riding, customising and maintaining it. Also enjoy metalwork, making things from rough metal. Turning sheets into components for my bike for instance. On the other hand I spend quite some time behind pc's mostly searching the web. But also help to maintain the website of our motorclub.

Al of this might not be BDSM related (some can such as metalwork), but is who I am. Since this is a BDSM site I should talk about that as well, shouldn't I

Well as said above I've long been interested, but only about the last year gotten more into it. Now being 21 (hence the I, as in me, 1985, my year of birth) so one could say I wasted a lot of valuable time already. And love most I encounterd so far. I really consider myself to be a Dom, but the more I think about it, open myself more to the idea of a switch. I try to read a lot, not only to learn more about BDSM, but about myself as well. Generaly I'm quite introvert, so much so I often have the feeling of not knowing myself very well. Wich makes me wonder how others seem to be able so quickly.

Wich brings me back to my title. Yesterday evening (morning to afternoon for most of you) I joined the chat. Had some conversations, ended up in a little, parly mock, ciberplay. Wich ended up in me being called a wannabee, not by name in public. But very clearly when asked in PM with that person. That was something that somehow hurt my feeling. But when thinking about it I gues it's true. Probably not so much in the meaning meant here. But more in a way that I really want to be a dom, and a good one. Wich I believe I am, or at least can be. And is something I really want to persuit.

But there is no rush to get to that point. I have patience. As it stands now I don't really believe in cyber relationships, while others seem to enjoy it. And I don't consider myself to have the mental health I believe fital for a real live D/s, or BDSM relation. Having much to do with a very close friend of mine who ended her life a few months ago.

To cut a long story short. I believe we're all wannabees here, in the sense that there is no one forcing us to do it, so we want to be who we are. In my case someone who likes being different, and surely is. And as possibly anyone shouldn't be judget on one action. And wich wouldn't make me better or worse as anyone else.

I think I've said more then enough for now, thank you for reading,



I1985

PS: Excuse my spelling and grammar, no native english speaker, and wrecked after 12 hours of work

[slave327-834-200]

All I want to say is, that to be anything in life you have to want to be it first....
everyone thus starts as a wannabee, its then down to where you take that want.

Good luck on your journey.

[I1985]

Thank you, exactly my point. I know what meaning the word has got here. And find no match to the word chosen for it. Because if all real dom/subs etc. are not wannabees, it would mean that they are just that against their will. Forced in that roll if you will.

But that might just be me, sometimes concentrating on thinks that don't really matter...

[Stone]

Well this lifestyle is a long process of learning.I am still learning and have lots to learn.For someone to call you a wannabe is ignorant and uncalled for.I bet when they first started out they didnt have a clue about everything they wanted or didnt want or where afraid to admit they wanted.All i have to say dont give a shit about what they think its what you want that counts.....

[Flaming_Redhead]

You're here because you want to be, and that's as good a reason as any. For the most part, this is a very friendly and open community. The people who run this site go to great lengths to make it that way. I'm happy to have met you, and I hope you will continue to visit whenever you can. It's very unfortunate that you were the victim of such unprovoked, outrageous, inexcusable, immature, disrespectful, ignorant, haughty, hypocritical, malicious, judgemental, asinine, offensive behavior. For someone to be so ill-mannered, yet claim to be in the lifestyle, is such a contradiction that one has to wonder who the real wannabe is. *HUGS*

[caroline]

You're here because you want to be, and that's as good a reason as any. For the most part, this is a very friendly and open community. The people who run this site go to great lengths to make it that way. I'm happy to have met you, and I hope you will continue to visit whenever you can. It's very unfortunate that you were the victim of such unprovoked, outrageous, inexcusable, immature, disrespectful, ignorant, haughty, hypocritical, malicious, judgemental, asinine, offensive behavior. For someone to be so ill-mannered, yet claim to be in the lifestyle, is such a contradiction that one has to wonder who the real wannabe is. *HUGS*

Thank you so much for saying that. I was a member of another forum (cuckolding) and it seems they spend more time putting people down for saying what they feel. As a result I had only two post in that forum. I think we should all be open to new ideas. If you don't like what a person has to say move on.


flaming-redhead great AV.

[his_delilah (GS)]

Great speech, Flaming Redhead.

Well, I1985, I guess if they want to call it like that, I'm a wannabe. And I'm glad with it.
I don't want to make this my lifestyle. Well, never say never, but not at the moment. I like the excitement and I'm really into it. But I don't feel the need to have a Dom all day long. The bedroom is his domain.
I just feel like it's like praying, but not being a priest. That isn't wrong either, is it?

Groetjes uit Nederland,
Sweet19

[I1985]

Thank you all. Sweet19, it's called a lifestyle, but it doesn't have to a 24/7 lifestyle. I think most people here enjoy it the same way you do, as would I probably. What they mean by wannabee is someone that just comes in here for the fun, quick sex, etc. But not really into it.

And red, I don't want to make much of it really. It wasn't nice at that moment, but I've had a good talk to person in question. And also later on. Would rather call it a misjudgement and it was brought a bit unfriendly. But that doesn't mean I don't get along. Everyone makes mistakes. Apologies where made and glady accepted. I'm not a hating person, at least not easely so...

Anyway I'm enjoying my stay here, and an incident like this couldn't stop me from visiting. On the contrary, it got me thinking, and in doing so I gues I learnt something about myself (partly known already) and set me to writing this intro.

PS: Sweet19, you have a nice intro as well. En wees gegroet.

[his_delilah (GS)]

Raah! I hate my computer. I tried to post in my best English and now it's all gone!!! One false button. Where is my whip?! I shall learn this computer obedience... :P

Just wanted to say that I was suprised this is the least quick sex orientated chat room I know. Many are so warm and interested here.
And I want to thank you for the life style information-thing. I guess I had a wrong picture of it indeed.
You're a really positive man, aren't you? I like that.

[I1985]

Well try to be at least, couldn't stay standing if I wasn't frankly. And try to help where I can. I'm certainly not the most experienced here, would be closer to least. But share the knowledge I do have.

[Curious_1]

I1985, I have talked to you briefly in the chatroom. I am sorry that another is so self righteous and takes it out on others. I bet I know who you are talking about. She does not approve of o/l only people. Makes you wonder why she is always in the room!

Anyway, welcome to the site and have fun here. It is a great place to learn new things and talk to people with various experience levels.



And to Sweet19, glad to meet you in the chat too. Just come in when it is busy and you will end up with lots of offers, lol.

See you in the chat!

Curi

[I1985]

Thank you Curious, see you in chat...

[elyse]

i see you actually joined before i did, but i've only just met you, so welcome!

as for the rest: bdsm is, to me, a spectrum, not an either/or situation. and every single point along that spectrum is equally valid and valuable.

hugs,
elyse

[cariad]

Apologies for this belated reply and thanks for your fascinating introduction to yourself. It is always good to know something of the person behind the nickname. I hope you enjoy yourself here.

cariad