Welcome to the forums...

Interesting introduction, I am not a therapist, so am afraid that i can not give you any help there. But what i can tell you is that you have found the right place.

If you have questions about BDSM, yourself, and what you want out of BDSM, then you will find it here, and possibly with three different takes on that matter (I think about the only thing we all agree on is our differences). Take a look around, see what you like, see how it works, and with out a doubt do not be afraid of asking questions about things you don't know. The worst you will get is pointed in the right direction.

Enjoy!