Nice thread, cool to see you taking a very open minded approach and enjoying your exploration as you go along.

First off, you say you enjoy inflicting pain on her, and I certainly assume she enjoys recieving it. So if she likes getting spanked (or what have you) I say use it as a reward, not punishment. If she's a good girl, spank her for it. If she's a bad girl, send her to the corner and make her think about what she's done. If you both truly enjoy that kind of activity, no reason to go looking for mistakes if she didn't really make any. If she likes spanking, make it her reward for good behavior. Throw in the phrase "pain slut" now and again, just for fun. Which leads to point #2...

If she likes being called "Daddy's little whore" and such, you've certainly got more than a foot in the door in terms of tapping into what she finds humiliating in a fun way. You say she really wants you to be the one with the control. So think about things you've always wanted but perhaps certain sociatal rules say you can't have, or things that might simply amuse you. For example, I'm sure you like it when your girl dresses sexy. So assign her a sexy dress code around the home. Think of it like a school dress code, but in reverse "No skirts longer than X" or what have you. Hell if she likes being called Daddy's little whore, the school theme in general might be worth digging into. Does the thought of her cuming when you tell her to amuse you? Tell her she *has* to cum once every 2 hours someday. No matter whether she's at work or what have you. Give her, say a 10 minute window at the top of the hour to do it. If she's got a cell phone, make her call you and report that she's doing it. Or maybe let you listen in, if workable. I don't know about you but I'd find scurrying off to the office bathroom with a cell phone because it's my cum time a bit humiliatiing.

Just suggestions of course, rather specific ones true, but my real point being just open up your mind, don't be afraid to get dirty, remember if she really wants you to take charge, then don't be afraid to try things you've always wanted, or to dig into those little dark corners in your brain you've probably been taught how to bury. Control doesn't have to be physical - own her mind at least as much as her body. Don't be shy about reading, either stories or threads here, or whatever. Borrow ideas liberally if you like them, there's no originality score required as long as you enjoy it.

I agree with the others that confidence is big. Don't worry about a flub now and again. That happens. Don't worry about not knowing everything right away. That's reality. And though not all D/s couples can work it, I personally say don't even be shy about taking a suggestion from the sub and running with it, so long as it srtikes your fancy. If she suggests something would be enjoyable for her... have her prove it. Several times.

You sound to me like somoen eager to learn and dig into this, and someone with a very willing partner. I'd say you've already got more than half the battle won.