'normal' people probably wonder..."how could you intentionally inflict pain on yourself?"...and then i think.."how could i intentionally allow someone else to inflict pain on me?" the answer to both is, and always will be, because i enjoy it. as everyone else has stated, it's definitely not the same doing it yourself, as it is to have someone else swinging the paddle or whatever. but it is something. it gives me something.

self-play is definitely more fun when you have someone instructing you. i still get the rush of being dominated just from being told how hard to make the swats with the slapper...or how many times to do it. it also makes me feel good when there are marks, because in a sense...i still got them from him. he might not have controlled the rise and fall of the slapper, but he controlled the situation...the intensity and the number of swats. seeing those marks always make me smile and think fondly of him. so yeah...it works for me. ~smiles~