Originally posted by leo9
<snip>I have always gone by Bertrand Russell's rule: "never strike a child except in anger". Children can understand a lash out when someone has been pushed too far, it's an expression of feelings and it passes along with the anger. It's calculated punishments that teach them that violence is acceptable. <snip>
I agree whole heartedly. Spanking a child teaches them nothing except that the person with the bigger hand and the stronger arm wins. I can understand losing your temper and smacking a child in anger, I don't condone it but, I can understand it. Everyone has lost their temper at one time or another. Cooling yourself off and then deciding that spanking is your punishment of choice suggests to me that you are a brute.

I have a 6 year old, she is willful, as all 6 year olds are, I have never spanked her, and her father has never spanked her. She misbehaves in public occasionally and I speak to her about her behaviour. If she cannot control herself, we leave. It is not always convenient for me but, she is not here to be a convenience. She misbehaves at home sometimes too, refusing to help with chores or come when called or harassing me when I am on the telephone; I send her to her room and shut the door. She can come out when she is prepared to behave in a civilised manner. She knows this. We rarely have problems. I rarely raise my voice and I am hardly ever angry with her. She does not whine for toys or candy at the grocery store or toy store. I tell her when she asks that we are not shopping for that today. She continues to look at the coveted item but, has learned that I don't change my mind and that whining will not get her what she wants. She is not an easy child. She is a handful and takes a lot of energy, some people would classify her as hyperactive but, she knows what the rules are and I help her to remember them in a calm way.

I have friends who spank their children and I have to admit that my warm and fuzzy feelings for them are less than they were before I knew that they were spankers. I am a proactive parent. No one will ever be able to say that my child is undisciplined and that her parents don't have rules. To say that a child "needs" to be spanked makes me want to cry. How can any sane person think that pain and violence is an appropriate response to a child?

For those of you who aren't sure, this is of course my opinion. You don't have to agree with it, hell, you don't even have to read it.