Let me recommend you not to take advice from Doms/Tops on this subject.

Let me then put you in total paradox by offering this advice:

Listen to FindingFantasy, SlaveLucy, Nikka Jones, Woodsmansgame, Shelleyfemme... there are too many submissives on this forum with excellent experience to share for me to name, but those are some that readily come to mind. Sometime, come on over to the chatroom and PM with them when they're on.